The firm Berg Injury Lawyers, partnered with local cab agencies, is offering free cab rides to the drunk of Alameda County. Berg is promoting a “Safe and Sober Free Cab Ride Home” program from 8 p.m. on New Year’s Eve to 4 a.m. on New Year’s Day. The rides are available to anyone living in Berkeley, Alameda, or Oakland — but they’re not going to pick you up if you’re in San Francisco. And don’t even think of getting a ride to another bar, you lush. It’s residence-only destinations.

Call (800) 281-4488 for Yellow Cab or Veterans Cab. Tell them the ride is on Berg Injury Lawyers and you’re good to go. (If, of course, you can even make it that far.) Are you going to remember all that when you’re drunk? Or even make it past the temptation of drunk texting?

It’s kinda creepy (anyone reminded of Larry H. Parker here?), but if you’re SOL on New Year’s, then it’s a very good alternative…if you’re in Alameda County. Remember to be safe this holiday and have fun. It won’t be long until classes start up again and then you’ll have to be remotely sober.