Serious Assault Reported at Stanford Game
[by Shawn B.]
Authorities are on the hunt for dozens of suspects sought in connection to a rape and murder that took place in Stanford, California late Saturday evening. Suspects are described as wearing blue and gold. The victim, Stanford Football, was discovered laying on the field of a decrepit Stanford Stadium. Authorities report that 71,743 people were witness to the crime, most of who were also wearing blue and gold and purportedly standing and cheering rather loudly. Friends and family of the victim were also present, choosing to sit silently and watch the event. Further news as it comes in.
Rape and murder are serious topics Andy. This post was tasteless.
Comment by anon112 — November 20, 2005 @ 4:39 pm
You know what else is serious? Having a freaking sense of humor.
Good post.
Comment by Morbo — November 20, 2005 @ 4:54 pm
FUCK BAMN !!!
Comment by captain anoymous — November 20, 2005 @ 4:57 pm
hahaha
stanford sucks
Comment by Anonymous — November 20, 2005 @ 5:05 pm
quit whining and laugh a little…. good post
Comment by yodi — November 20, 2005 @ 5:12 pm
Muahahhahahahahahaaha.
Comment by WantsToPrankFurd — November 20, 2005 @ 6:07 pm
Wow, rape …. hilarious.
Comment by Anonymous — November 20, 2005 @ 6:44 pm
There always has to be party poopers.
Comment by Anonymous — November 20, 2005 @ 6:53 pm
Yeah geez hate to burst your bubble, but rape IS serious. When I read this post I thought “how terrible, a rape” then realized you meant the football game. My expression didn’t change to “yaaaay, Cal RAPES Stanfurd!” Party pooper, sense of humor? How about Cal lynches Stanfurd? Lynchings are funny, right?
Comment by anon112 — November 20, 2005 @ 8:46 pm
Ha ha, a fake news report.
Tasteless and cliched.
Comment by Smyr — November 20, 2005 @ 8:54 pm
what, are we competing to see which school can produce the lameassest humor? forget offensive (which it kinda is), more importantly, this shit isnt even funny. seriously, could someone could please piss on this “Shawn B’s” head? and lets hope the Cal retaliation video wont suck as much as Shawn does.
Comment by mano — November 20, 2005 @ 9:56 pm
ooh, ive got one for Shawn and Andy. For next year, in case they get tired rape jokes, funny as they are:
Cue laughtrack. Cue calstuff humor lobotomy. And cue the endless supply of back-slapping jackoffs like morobo and yodi yukking it up for you in the comments section.
Comment by mano — November 20, 2005 @ 10:09 pm
FUCK BAMN !!!!
Comment by captain anoymous — November 20, 2005 @ 10:36 pm
Eh, not so funny. We can’t say Stanford makes dumbass rascist videos if we rape (rape! aha, get it?) our own standards.
Comment by Steve — November 20, 2005 @ 11:15 pm
totally uncool
Comment by Anonymous — November 20, 2005 @ 11:17 pm
anyone here ever made the statement “i just got raped by that test” ?
Comment by Anonymous — November 20, 2005 @ 11:25 pm
Yea, i have. and there’s a lawsuit pending. asshole, that test hurt me in ways your can’t imagine.
Comment by Josh — November 21, 2005 @ 12:05 am
Two things:
1) Rape is serious. I was a victim of sexual assault and I don’t think Ben’s girlfriend, Taylor would feel very good about this sense of humor. Out of respect, bloggers on CalStuff please don’t look up my ip address.
2) I believe in absolute freedom of speech but also we are free to tell people when humor is tasteful. Racist jokes are fine, anti-American jokes are fine, but rape is something that touches women (and some men) who were victims with extreme pain. The difference? Rape is contemporary. It happens now.
Comment by Anonymous — November 21, 2005 @ 12:41 am
“Racist jokes are fine”
Because racism is, of course, okely-dokely.
Comment by Smyr — November 21, 2005 @ 1:01 am
Racist JOKES, smart guy.
Comment by Anonymous — November 21, 2005 @ 1:05 am
The difference between racism / anti-americanism and rape is that rape is contemporary?
I’m going to beg to differ. I’ll bet that there was rape far before anyone hated America certainly, and probably far before anyone hated someone of another race. Probably before anyone met someone of another race, or could even formulate linguistic thoughts complex enough to be called racism.
I also believe racism and anti-Americanism happen now. So your point was what exactly? That those are fine because they don’t offend you, but because you were sexually assaulted rape jokes are not fine and should not be made? I’m sure someone who has had loved ones die as a result of racist or anti-American ideas could say that they have been hurt deeply by those things, and would not like jokes to be made about them either.
You say your for freedom of speech, then you’re all for it. The point of freedom is that it’s not supposed to be a selective thing.
Comment by Hippo — November 21, 2005 @ 1:50 am
Great post!
Remember folks, it’s ’surprise sex’, not rape. No need to get all angry over a funny post.
Comment by f — November 21, 2005 @ 3:45 am
Yeah freedom of speech should extend to everything. I’m a die-hard free speech person, and all speech should be allowed including anti-American speech, hate speech, racist jokes, sexist jokes, whatever the cause may be.
Most people who complain about rape are far more affected personally than people who cry that they are affect by racism. That’s just a fact. Racism is your own perception half the time (Williams and Boyson), whereas rape is an actual crime.
Comment by DTI — November 21, 2005 @ 6:12 am
Freedom of speech means freedom to be an asshole, as well as freedom to be flamed and decried.
And hey, if we don’t like your attitudes or actions, you just won’t get public funding.
Flame on!
Comment by gb — November 21, 2005 @ 6:42 am
freedom to piss on your heads from a second story window. thats the only freedom i need!
Comment by mano — November 21, 2005 @ 8:17 am
Hey, argue the merits all you like. But know this: Seriously not funny. Still, we enjoyed the game and can agree on that.
Comment by L.L. Taraval — November 21, 2005 @ 3:33 pm
Hey Andy, you should have said we gay-bashed them.
Comment by anon112 — November 23, 2005 @ 5:15 pm
As an alum. I have to say, that is some pretty heavy language. you know better than to use phrases like RAPE.
…also this isn’t supposed to be a humor website like the onion or the squelch.
Comment by Anonymous — November 25, 2005 @ 1:12 pm
As an alum you should be able to, say, differentiate between words and phrases? Or not.
Comment by Anonymous — November 26, 2005 @ 12:25 pm
And incomplete sentences… and coherence… but I digress…
Comment by "words" vs "phrases" — November 26, 2005 @ 12:29 pm
thanks again, alum, for letting us all know what this website is “supposed” to be.
Comment by bob — November 27, 2005 @ 6:45 pm
Wow, posts like these make me miss Kevin all the more.
Comment by Disappointed Again — November 28, 2005 @ 10:16 pm